Adventures in Bedsharing

I decline to call our sleeping arrangement "co-sleeping" because co-sleeping(1) encompasses bedsharing as well as a crib that's been attached to a bed like a sidecar or simply having your baby in a bassinet next to your bed.  The concept of co-sleeping is that they're near you, in whatever capacity you're comfortable with.  We actually bedshare, as in Anne sleeps in the bed with us, right next to me.  Not everyone should bedshare or even co-sleep with a sidecar style crib arrangement, as there are rules to keep this as a safe practice(2), but it works beautifully for us.

Waking up in the middle of the night to her little body snuggled up next to mine is possibly one of the best things ever.  I grew up sleeping with a small dog tucked under my arm, so I'm no stranger to sleeping with a small creature by my side.  Anne smells better than my dog did, though. ;-)  I love being able to check on her just by opening my eyes, or being able to immediately soothe her back to sleep if she cries out because of a nightmare or some other unknown thing troubling her.

One morning I woke up to her laying on her side facing me, her sweet face tipped upward toward mine and her arm thrown over my chest.  I didn't want to move.

It's also helped when she's been sick and congested because I could immediately respond if it sounded like she was having trouble breathing.  I love knowing she's *right there* and the physical proximity is comforting.

Breastfeeding is so much easier when I can let her latch and then go right back to sleep.  The most effort it takes for me is to move her to the opposite side of my body each time.  No getting up to get her out of a crib, and she usually barely has time to work up a good whine before I have her calmed down again.

Also, since I work and commute an hour to my office, having her in bed with me at night helps the separation anxiety.  (mine, not hers. lol  though maybe it helps her too...)  Even though we're not awake it still feels like I'm spending time with her. (I think they call it bonding...)

I'm going to be sad when she starts to wean; I'm going to wean her from the breast and the bed at the same time.  As much as I love bedsharing, she can't sleep with us forever; if nothing else, I miss snuggling with Kristian at night because she's often in the middle of the bed (one of the few rules I break concerning bedsharing...Kristian is also used to sleeping with pets in the bed so I don't worry about him rolling over on to her, not to mention he'd clobber me and wake me up in the process because she sleeps so close to me), and she'll need to learn to sleep alone at some point.  But I will miss it terribly and will probably schedule "slumber parties" on occasion.

I never dreamed I would bedshare, and even found a journal entry where I adamantly said I thought it was dangerous and would never do it before Anne was born.  A lot more information on the subject, some encouragement from our breastfeeding instructor, and the blessings of my husband changed my mind.  We started out with Anne in an in-bed co-sleeper thing called a snuggler(3), which is sortof like a little cushioned box with low sides you can put in the bed with you.  The thought was that this would keep her safer and would help facilitate moving her to a crib at some point.  She slept in it twice.  Then we had to wrap a bililight blanket(4) around her for a week and the giant cord wouldn't fit in the snuggler, so Anne slept next to me instead.  She refused to go back in the snuggler after that.  8 months later and it's been bliss ever since :-)



(1) http://baby.about.com/od/sleep/p/cosleeping_explanation.htm
(2) http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/sleep-safety/safe-co-sleeping-habits
(3) http://hubpages.com/hub/Deluxe_Snuggle_Nest_Cosleeper_Review
(4)  http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/wha/umbili.htm