Our sweet, unplanned little boy, Nicholas Charles Daniel Robben, was born on April 8, 2014, 4:58 pm, weighing 8 lbs 9.5 oz and was 21" long. This is the story of his birth.
At 38 weeks to the day, my water broke on Sunday, April 6th, around 4:15 pm. This time was different than with Anne, however. Unlike the forceful gushing I had experienced with my daughter, it was much smaller. The midwives called it a "slow leak" and figured it was a high rupture rather than right above my cervix. I had been experiencing some extremely mild contractions (like very light menstrual cramps) off and on about 2 hours apart but nothing serious. I called my doula, Renee, who had also been our doula for Anne's birth, and told her my water broke and then promised to keep her updated. She was in Chattanooga at the time but came back home thinking my second birth would move even faster than the first one did.
Having no real contractions to speak of, my mom-in-love and I went to WalMart to kill time and bought Anne some spring clothes. Then we came home and sent Anne home with Kristian's parents thinking we'd be having a baby that night. The contractions continued to be so mild as to be barely noticeable and an hour or two apart. I woke up once during the night after having a small contraction thinking they were finally going to get going and I got up and walked around my house for about an hour. Nothing. I even tried using my breastpump to try to get them moving. Still nothing, so I went back to bed.
The next morning I still wasn't having any contractions to speak of so Kristian and I watched Game of Thrones to kill time. I paced the floor, walked the stairs, sat on my birth ball. Nothing. We knew that at the 24 hour mark I was required to visit Intown Midwifery at the hospital and have a stress test done to make sure Nicholas was healthy and fine. Trying to go into active labor before that point, we decided to go walk around Sugarloaf Mills Mall for awhile. Walking was supposed to be a tried and true motivator for contractions, right? All it did was make me exhausted, so after about 3 laps we went home and I took a nap. Also during this time, Renee called to say she needed to make a 6 hour round trip back to Chattanooga to pick up her husband and kids. Fortunately, knowing that Teresa was going to back her up made it a little less stressful.
24 hours rolled around and still no baby and no contractions, so we headed to downtown Atlanta to go to Atlanta Medical Center for the stress test. The test that I was told would take about 30 minutes resulted in a 2+ hour stay at the hospital as we waited for all the results. Nicholas was healthy and fine, and had plenty of water to float around in, and I was doing fine though I still wasn't having any contractions, so the midwife discharged me and we headed back home. We went to the Movie Tavern by our house to have dinner and watch Captain America : The Winter Soldier. Great movie! Still no contractions.
As we left the theater, I got a message from Teresa saying Renee had tire trouble and could not get back until about 10 am the next morning. At this point, after waiting for a day and a half for this baby to make his appearance, it just felt like everything kept going wrong. I was getting scared and paranoid that my body would never go into labor on its own and I would have to be induced. I was scared that if I had to be induced it would lead to a c-section. I just broke down. The wait wasn't physically tiring but it was very mentally exhausting and I just sat on our bed and cried. Kristian was amazing and tried to make me laugh to calm me down. Renee sent me text messages reassuring me that everything would be okay. I finally went to bed and slept reasonably well all night.
The next morning, as I was making breakfast around 10 am, I felt a pop in my pelvis and my water really gushed this time. I started having mild contractions about 20 minutes apart. We ate breakfast and decided to go visit Anne for a little while since it seemed like I'd definitely be having a baby that day and we missed our little girl. We hung out with Anne at Kristian's parents' house until it was time to head back to Atlanta for another stress test at the 48 hour mark.
On the drive to Atlanta, my contractions starting getting closer together, about 6-10 minutes apart, but still didn't require me to work through them so I didn't think much of them. By the time we got to the doctor's office they were about 3 minutes apart and I was starting to feel them enough to have to pause and focus. Kristian kept trying to encourage me to skip the doctor visit and just head straight to the hospital (about a mile down the road, thankfully), but I kept thinking it still wasn't quite "go time." We had the ultrasound done, and the contractions got closer together. The tech told us that Nicholas' head was so far down in my pelvis she could barely find it. We were going to wait to talk to Dr. Bootstaylor about the results but I had a very strong contraction while we were waiting and decided we needed to head to the hospital after all.
As we walked through the Emory Midtown Medical Office building I kept having to pause and work through the contractions. They were coming swift and hard, and all the sensation was in my pelvis this time. It was very different than when Anne was born, and while not entirely surprising considering the pelvic pain I'd had for the past 2 months, the pain was much more intense than I remembered. This actually *hurt* and I was struggling to let go to get through the contractions. We finally made it to the car and headed to the hospital. On the way there, I hit transition (the hardest part of labor right before the pushing stage) in the car. Again, just as I had with Anne. The pain and pressure in my pelvis was so intense I actually told Kristian I thought I had to push already, forgetting that it was probably just transition. Kristian ran a red light and pulled into the ER lane in the wrong direction trying to get me to the hospital as fast as possible!
I waddled into the ER and immediately told the person at the desk that I needed a wheelchair. Someone finally got me one and took me up to the 7th floor. I knew that Linda was the on-call midwife at the time, but as I looked up at the nurses' desk, Anjli was there. I was so excited when she said she had time to stay for a bit to see if she could be there for Nicholas' birth.
The contractions were coming fast and hard, and all the pain was centered in my pelvis. It wasn't a sharp pain, more of a bright pain if that makes any sense. I kept picturing them as being yellow and orange in color for some reason. I insisted on standing and leaning over the bed to do the required stress monitoring. Kristian helped me through the contractions by rubbing my back as I did slow hip circles. At some point the contractions got too intense for me to stand anymore so I crawled up on the bed on my knees and positioned the back of the bed vertically so I would have something to hang on to. Renee arrived shortly after that and stood behind the bed facing me and gave me words of encouragement to help keep me focused. I had Kristian play my Lindsey Stirling Pandora station on my phone. My mom arrived and I knew everyone that I needed was there.
I don't remember what she said exactly, but I know there was a moment that Renee said something that made me realize I was still fighting the contractions because they hurt so much this time, and that I needed to let go and sink into them to help Nicholas move his way down. It took every ounce of willpower I had to push myself into the sensations I was experiencing and to work with them instead of against them. Between contractions I had a running mantra going through my head... "You can do this, you can do this, you can do this..." and "you're a badass, remember?" A few times I giggled at myself for using that thought to keep going, but it was the first thing I had said after Anne was born and I knew believing it would help me birth Nicholas.
Finally I heard someone say they could take the monitor off me and get me in the birthing pool. A few minutes later I heard the most glorious sound in the world behind me...the sound of vinyl being slid across a tile floor. Renee and I had a good laugh as I'm sure pure relief washed over my face just at the thought of getting in the water.
Once they got a good foot or so of water in the pool they helped me in and I positioned myself on my knees again, with hands clinging to Kristian and Renee's hands. The heat of the water pouring out of the hose onto my back felt amazing as someone held it for me. It wasn't long before I needed to push. The position I was in might not have been the best for getting Nicholas out as quickly as possible, he definitely didn't come in "three pushes." But I was afraid if I turned over and used the same method that got Anne out, he might come too fast and I would tear. So I stayed on my knees. This time the ring of fire lasted much longer because it was harder to push Nicholas out, and I was pushing as hard as I possibly could. I remember being vaguely worried that my screaming might upset Kristian but I couldn't help it; the pain was excruciating.
Finally, I felt Nicholas slide out of my body and suddenly there were voices behind me telling me he was coming forward between my legs and to reach down and pull him out of the water. I caught my own son as he emerged from my body and as I pulled him out of the water and up to my chest, I burst into tears. I did it, I had birthed my son and everything had gone just as I had wanted. I wasn't pregnant anymore, which was the biggest relief. And I was holding a beautiful miracle in my arms.
We got him to cry and then everyone remarked on how much he favored Anne when she was born. My mom cut the umbilical cord and then they handed Nicholas to Kristian so I could get out of the tub. I was given time to hold Nicholas and start breastfeeding him before the nurses came back about an hour later to get his stats. I will never forget looking up at Kristian as he watched the nurses weigh and measure our son from across my bed and seeing nothing but pure love in his eyes.
Nicholas was born on Tuesday afternoon almost 49 hours after my water had broken on Sunday afternoon. It felt like it took an eternity for him to arrive, but once active labor actually started it was only 2.5 hours later until he was born. 0 to 60 in no time at all. I am so grateful to have been with such a wonderful practice as Intown Midwifery to let nature take its course and let me birth him naturally rather than forcing me into any kind of induction or other intervention. Linda was great, and I was so happy that Kristian, my Mom, Renee, and Anjli were all there. And best of all, I finally had my baby boy in my arms.
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