My last day being 30 was awful. Anne woke up in the middle of the night with fevers and coughing and so miserable she cried and whined for over an hour before I could get her to go back to sleep, and Kristian had to work that day so we had to get up early. I got very little sleep and then had to take care of a whiney, congested, feverish Anne most of the day. I got very little housework done and never made it to the grocery store. The shower I took after Kristian got home was such sweet relief that I tried to stay in as long as I could, and even stood in the steamy bathroom a minute almost dreading opening the door to get dressed.
Fortunately, my birthday was much better and made up for it. Anne slept better and didn't have any fevers, which meant I got some sleep. We skipped church in favor of sleeping in and having a more relaxing morning. Kristian went and got us doughnuts for breakfast which is always happiness. I took some time to check my email while Anne took a morning nap on my lap and then we went to the grocery store, came home and had lunch, and then headed to Fernbank to meet up with friends and family to celebrate my birthday.
On our way to the museum, I thought about the fact that I was born on this day, and it made me think about Anne's birth. I think until you have a child yourself, a birthday is sortof an abstract thought, just a fun day to celebrate you being alive. But having given birth, it made it more real for me. I thought about the fact that my Mom must be remembering giving birth to me and what that must have been like. I felt like my birthday should actually be more a celebration of my Mom than me; she brought me into this world and I was just the happy recipient of all her hard work. I kindof think "Mother's Day" should be celebrated on our birthdays, it would make more sense.
The Ferbank Mytholgical Creatures exhibit was pretty neat, and I actually learned something about unicorns I never knew before thanks to Brian. Funny that I've loved them my whole life but never really knew a whole lot about them... Brian, Jen, my Mom and Ray, Caitlin, Chuck and Kristian's Mom, Jarrett, Herb, Kira and Lucy came out to see the exhibit with me. It was fun wandering around looking at everything. After we went through the exhibit we went upstairs to the new kids area and let Anne play some. She and Lucy had a blast smacking their hands in a virtual river to see the "waves" ripple out. After we left Fernbank we ate at Everybody's Pizza before heading home. It was a good day :-D
For some reason turning 31 seems old to me. 30 was awesome. I loved being 30 because I finally felt like an adult. I'd stay 30 forever if I could. But if my birthday was any indication of what the rest of this year will be like, it should be a good year. I'm looking forward to it.
Also, sidenote, 8 month old baby fighting sleep = exhausting. Anne literally rolled around our bed for half an hour last night before we gave up and took her downstairs to play some more. She finally fell asleep on my lap around 9:30, an hour past her bedtime. >.< Silly girl.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Dear Anne: (June 7, 2011)
Dear Anne:
I can't believe you're almost 8 months old. It's the downhill side of approaching your first birthday when the infant days will be gone, and I'm going to miss these days so much. I love these sweet baby days when you still need me, when you want to snuggle and have me carry you everywhere. I know they will be over too soon.
You're doing really well at eating solid foods now, though most of it is still play. I'm so glad we decided to do Baby Led Weaning because I have already seen you eat foods that other kids won't touch even when they're older. Broccoli is your favorite food, probably because it's so easy for you to pick up. But you always seem to make a beeline for any green vegetable I put in front of you, so I don't think we'll ever have to coerce you into eating your veggies. You really seem to enjoy eating meals with us, and look honestly put out if we eat something and don't offer you any.
You still can't crawl but you're getting really close; I imagine it will only be another couple of weeks. You can get your butt up in the air but you haven't figured out how to coordinate moving your knees and your hands. I can tell you desperately want to move; you usually end up scooting backwards when you try and you often whine in frustration. Hang in there, sweetheart, you'll figure it out soon enough! Then Mommy and Daddy will be chasing you all over the house...and the cats will be running for their lives. lol
You've discovered that "Peek-a-Boo" is a great game, and Daddy and I play it with you behind the couch. One of us will hold you on the couch and the other will hide on the other side and pop up to suprise you. I don't think either of us will ever get tired of your smiles or your laughter; they're seriously the best things ever.
Unfortunately you've spent most of your infant life with some kind of cold or sinus infection. It frustrates me to no end that you are sick more than you're healthy, but I can only hope this is giving you an iron-strong immune system for when you're older. Daycare = the necessary evil. But for the most part you seem happy even when you're full of "baby boogers."
I still love nursing you, and one of my favorite things to do on the weekends is to nurse you down for a nap on the couch. Daddy always stays nearby if I decide to take a nap with you to make sure you don't roll off the couch. I love co-sleeping with you too, and I'm going to really miss you being in our bed when it's time to move you to a "big girl bed." I read something about slumber parties with your kids the other day; we'll have to have those, especially if Daddy is off with his friends.
You enjoy the stroller now and also riding in the grocery cart (I put a cloth cover in it for you). I still carry you in the Moby sometimes, but you seem to like the independence of the cart too. You love to bounce and you really enjoy the walker we got you. I have to keep a close eye on you though; apparently trying to get into the kitchen trashcan is one of your favorite games! Telling you "No" only makes you grin at me and sometimes giggle. I think we're going to have our hands full...
You started saying "da da da da" recently. I don't know if you recognize that it relates to Daddy, but I'm anxious for you to say "ma ma ma ma." I love it when you chatter even if we can't really understand what you're trying to tell us.
You're fascinated by the cats. Duchess will let you pet her until you grab her fur and pull, and Indy still shies away from you. I think maybe he knows better. lol
I love you more than words can express and every moment I'm away from you I long to be with you again. I wish time would slow down; I want to hold on to these days. 12 months of being an infant is just not long enough.
Love always,
Mom
I can't believe you're almost 8 months old. It's the downhill side of approaching your first birthday when the infant days will be gone, and I'm going to miss these days so much. I love these sweet baby days when you still need me, when you want to snuggle and have me carry you everywhere. I know they will be over too soon.
You're doing really well at eating solid foods now, though most of it is still play. I'm so glad we decided to do Baby Led Weaning because I have already seen you eat foods that other kids won't touch even when they're older. Broccoli is your favorite food, probably because it's so easy for you to pick up. But you always seem to make a beeline for any green vegetable I put in front of you, so I don't think we'll ever have to coerce you into eating your veggies. You really seem to enjoy eating meals with us, and look honestly put out if we eat something and don't offer you any.
You still can't crawl but you're getting really close; I imagine it will only be another couple of weeks. You can get your butt up in the air but you haven't figured out how to coordinate moving your knees and your hands. I can tell you desperately want to move; you usually end up scooting backwards when you try and you often whine in frustration. Hang in there, sweetheart, you'll figure it out soon enough! Then Mommy and Daddy will be chasing you all over the house...and the cats will be running for their lives. lol
You've discovered that "Peek-a-Boo" is a great game, and Daddy and I play it with you behind the couch. One of us will hold you on the couch and the other will hide on the other side and pop up to suprise you. I don't think either of us will ever get tired of your smiles or your laughter; they're seriously the best things ever.
Unfortunately you've spent most of your infant life with some kind of cold or sinus infection. It frustrates me to no end that you are sick more than you're healthy, but I can only hope this is giving you an iron-strong immune system for when you're older. Daycare = the necessary evil. But for the most part you seem happy even when you're full of "baby boogers."
I still love nursing you, and one of my favorite things to do on the weekends is to nurse you down for a nap on the couch. Daddy always stays nearby if I decide to take a nap with you to make sure you don't roll off the couch. I love co-sleeping with you too, and I'm going to really miss you being in our bed when it's time to move you to a "big girl bed." I read something about slumber parties with your kids the other day; we'll have to have those, especially if Daddy is off with his friends.
You enjoy the stroller now and also riding in the grocery cart (I put a cloth cover in it for you). I still carry you in the Moby sometimes, but you seem to like the independence of the cart too. You love to bounce and you really enjoy the walker we got you. I have to keep a close eye on you though; apparently trying to get into the kitchen trashcan is one of your favorite games! Telling you "No" only makes you grin at me and sometimes giggle. I think we're going to have our hands full...
You started saying "da da da da" recently. I don't know if you recognize that it relates to Daddy, but I'm anxious for you to say "ma ma ma ma." I love it when you chatter even if we can't really understand what you're trying to tell us.
You're fascinated by the cats. Duchess will let you pet her until you grab her fur and pull, and Indy still shies away from you. I think maybe he knows better. lol
I love you more than words can express and every moment I'm away from you I long to be with you again. I wish time would slow down; I want to hold on to these days. 12 months of being an infant is just not long enough.
Love always,
Mom
Thursday, June 2, 2011
On Circumcision
Disclaimer, because this article is pretty offensive in some ways:
I like that it was written from an adult perspective, and that it cites many of the reasons supporting not having your son circumcised. The perspective spin is what intrigued me, not the attacking nature of the author. I forget sometimes that when I post things people can't hear my internal monologue that often disagrees with the tone of an article, and often entire sentences or paragraphs. If I repost something it's because I like the general gist of the article and any relevant info contained in it. I rarely agree with everything an author says, and most certainly do not always agree with all of an author's personal opinions. If you read something and think "wow, I can't imagine Nicole saying/thinking that," then more than likely I didn't like that part of the article either.
http://www.stayathomemomologues.com/2011/06/its-cleaner-now.html
I like that it was written from an adult perspective, and that it cites many of the reasons supporting not having your son circumcised. The perspective spin is what intrigued me, not the attacking nature of the author. I forget sometimes that when I post things people can't hear my internal monologue that often disagrees with the tone of an article, and often entire sentences or paragraphs. If I repost something it's because I like the general gist of the article and any relevant info contained in it. I rarely agree with everything an author says, and most certainly do not always agree with all of an author's personal opinions. If you read something and think "wow, I can't imagine Nicole saying/thinking that," then more than likely I didn't like that part of the article either.
http://www.stayathomemomologues.com/2011/06/its-cleaner-now.html
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Crossing Bridges
I was asked to share my story about how I'm the poster child for changing my ideas about child rearing once my daughter was born. Before Anne arrived I only knew traditional ideas about how to do things and I had some serious misconceptions about things I really knew nothing about. Here are at least some of the things that changed, sometimes in the spur of the moment, and my thoughts on each topic.
* Water Birth. I knew from the beginning that I wanted to experience natural, unmedicated childbirth. The thought started with the idea that if my mom and my mother-in-law could do it, then so could I. It evolved into doing more research about the effects of inducement and epidural drugs on my own body and my baby, and that research solidified my resolve. Water birth was introduced as an option for pain management in our childbirth classes with Labor of Love Doula and Childbirth Services and through my midwives at Intown Midwifery. Never having really been a water person, I kept it on the table as an option, at least for labor, but I honestly didn't see myself delivering in the water. I'm just not a bath person and I don't particularly enjoy swimming. Kristian was weirded out about the idea all the way until delivery, I think. But once we got to the hospital, I knew the second my midwife asked if I wanted to get in the tub that the answer was yes. Once I got in that glorious warm water, there was no getting out, especially since I was already pushing. The water helped immensely, if nothing else the weightlessness was amazing, and given the option, I will never birth a child again any other way.
* Touching Baby's Head in the Birth Canal. I heard about doing this in our childbirth classes but the thought kindof grossed me out. I honestly didn't think I'd want to do this. Until I'd been pushing for an hour or two and started getting frustrated that Anne hadn't crowned yet. That was when my midwife told me "she's coming, she's in the birth canal already, you can reach down and feel her." I knew that I wanted that proof that she really was close, and when I felt her squishy little head at my fingertips it gave me renewed energy to keep going. It was amazing, knowing she was *right. there.* and would be in my arms relatively soon.
* Vernix / Bathing Baby Immediately. I always thought I would want the nurses to bathe Anne before they handed her over to me to hold and breastfeed for the first time. In video, vernix looks pretty goopy and disgusting, and I didn't relish the thought of holding my daughter with goop and blood all over her. We were encouraged to hold off on bathing our babies in my childbirth class because the vernix (the white stuff) is really good for their skin, it's like natural lotion. It probably helped that Anne slipped into this world into water to begin with, but the vernix wasn't gross at all. It's more like paste than goop. Anne had her first bath a week after we got home from the hospital.
* Stop Breastfeeding When Baby Gets Teeth. I distinctly remember telling Teresa Howard, the teacher for our breastfeeding class, that I was stopping breastfeeding when that baby got teeth because she could eat real food then. Wow, how ignorant I was!! She quickly informed me that some babies get teeth as early as 3 months and they are nowhere near ready to wean at that age. She also told me that you have to feed either breastmilk or formula until the baby is a year old. Since I knew I didn't want to feed Anne formula, that put my goal for breastfeeding at 1 year. At this point I was still pretty adamant about weaning her at 1 year though.
* Stopping Breastfeeding at One Year. Again, I couldn't imagine myself breastfeeding a baby over a year old. Until more instruction and research informed me that weaning a baby cold turkey is not the best idea in the world, it should be a gradual, at least mostly baby-led, process. Then I went to see our pediatrician, who is very supportive of breastfeeding, and she recommends that we breastfeed Anne until she's at least 2 years old. My goal shifted again. I still don't see myself breastfeeding her past 2, but if there's one thing I've learned it's that this parenting gig is a day-to-day thing, and making too many decisions before we cross those bridges is pointless.
* Extended Breastfeeding (2 years and beyond). I've had a hard time getting my head wrapped around the idea of breastfeeding a toddler, but my views on this have changed as well. I used to be pretty adamantly against it, but the more moms I meet that are nursing their toddlers in the last stages of weaning, the more I realize it's just a natural process and no two children are the same. Some kids may wean at 14 months, others at 30 or beyond.
* Breastfeeding : The Bond. Before I breastfed my own daughter, I thought the bond people talk about was a load of crap or for hippies. Breastfeeding was just for that, feeding, right? I couldn't have been more wrong. I cannot even begin to explain the deep connection I feel to my daughter that has come about through that process. It's amazing.
* Co-Sleeping / Bedsharing. I actually found a journal entry from when I was pregnant where I adamantly said I would never bedshare with Anne because I thought it was dangerous. A few things changed my mind on this. For starters, Teresa mentioned in our breastfeeding class that night nursing is a million times easier, and provides much more sleep for the mom, if you co-sleep or bedshare because you just latch the baby on and go back to sleep (side-laying nursing). Surprisingly, Kristian supported this idea, so my thoughts on bedsharing started to turn around, but we were still pretty adamant about Anne having her own bedspace; we had an in-bed co-sleeping snuggler that had sides to supposedly protect the baby from being rolled onto. Anne slept in it at the hospital in my bed, and then one night at home. Then she had to wear a bilirubin blanket to treat her jaundice, and the giant cord attached to it wouldn't allow us to put her in the snuggler, so she slept right next to me. After a week of sleeping contentedly next to her mommy, Anne started crying the second we tried to put her back in the snuggler, so that was the end of that. I've also read articles on safe bedsharing and the rules concerning it, and I don't feel like it's dangerous at all, at least not for us (if you can't make the space safe, then you shouldn't bedshare). She's over 7 months old and still sleeps right next to me every night. She nurses at least twice in the mornings before I get up for work, so I get more sleep this way and it helps keep my milk supply up. Plus I'm not waking up all night to go check on her because she's right there.
* Crying It Out. While I never had any really hard and fast ideas about this concept, I did have friends that encouraged me to do this so I never really thought it was a "bad idea." Until my daughter cried, and I knew I could never just leave her to cry herself to sleep, it made my heart hurt too much. Kristian also can't bear to hear her cry. The one time I did let her cry it out, while out walking with her in a stroller, I fortunately had friends and educators encourage me not to do this, and reassure me that tending to my daughter's emotional needs was not a bad thing. Hearing about and reading about medical studies showing that uncomforted crying causes some brain damage from the heightened levels of cortisol (no, all crying is not the same...the brain reacts differently to crying while being held v. being ignored), helped solidify my choice to refuse to let Anne cry it out. I could write a book on my opinions regarding this topic, but just suffice it to say that even if there weren't people telling me it was a bad idea, my maternal instincts and heart would never let my daughter be miserable and go uncomforted like that.
* Baby Sleep While I Did Housework. HAHAHAHAHA Yeah right. I had this preconception of nursing Anne, putting her down for a nap in a crib for a few hours, and getting housework done while she was asleep. Imagine my frustration when my very senstive daughter would wake up almost immediately every time I tried to lay her down, so that the only way she slept for any decent amount of time was in my arms while I held her. See my stance above regarding crying it out, and you can see why I felt trapped to my couch for the first 2 months of Anne's life. Then enter the Moby sling, my lifesaver, that gave me my life back. I could nurse Anne in it and walk around at the same time, and she would happily fall asleep in it snuggled up on my chest. But this was just another preconception I had that got blown out of the water by reality.
* Crying When Baby Gets Vaccinated. Before Anne was born, I thought it was silly when moms cried when their babies got vaccinated. Then we had to take Anne to get her blood drawn for bilirubin tests while we were monitoring her jaundice. Drawing blood from a newborn involves sticking their heel, and then squeezing their foot over and over again until they get enough drops of blood to fill a small vial. It takes forever, and with each squeeze my 2 day old daughter cried harder. I burst into tears and had to go into the hallway while I cried and laughed at myself. You cannot comprehend the anguish you feel at hearing your own child in pain until you experience it.
* Circumcision. When I was still pregnant, I remember a friend of mine who was also pregnant calling me and asking me if we had a boy whether or not we would circumcise. At the time I just sortof shrugged and said, Yes, I guess so, since it seemed like the normal thing to do. While I realize we don't have a boy, I have a friend who does and who is very adamantly opposed to circumcision, so she posts articles about it frequently. After reading a few of them, I have since changed my mind and no longer support it either. I wouldn't strap a 15 year old (or 25 year old for that matter) son of mine to a table and cut off part of his penis without his consent, so why would I do that to my infant son? No thanks. I'm so grateful that my friend opened my eyes because if we had a boy, and I had him circumcised before knowing what I know now, I would feel terrible about it.
* Cloth Diapering. I had a discussion about this with my good friend, Brian, who had cloth diapered with one of his kids (at least...maybe more). He told me horror stories about rinsing nasty diapers in the toilet and leaving them in a bucket until laundry time, so I threw that idea out the window. Then I had some friends show me the awesomeness that is cloth diapering now that they make cloth diapers with inserts and snaps, and expanding elastic, and I can honestly say that I feel good about not filling landfills with disposable diapers and the money I save every month. They're expensive to start with, but they pay for themselves in about 4 to 5 months, and the kind I have will last until Anne potty trains. They're a lot of work, but I think they're worth it. (and no, the poo does NOT stick to my washing machine, why do people think that?! lol)
* Solid Foods. I always assumed we'd do the traditional purees at 4 months. Then when Anne was about 3.5 months old, I came across something called Baby Led Weaning. You keep them only on breastmilk (or formula, though the concept seems to work better with breastfed babies) until they're 6 months old and then you just start giving them tablefood. We love it because Anne loves it; she really seems to enjoy eating with us and exploring the food and she gets more adept at chewing, swallowing, and picking up food every day. She also eats things like green vegetables that most kids don't like.
Sometimes, ignorance really isn't bliss and education is everything. I am so grateful for the classes I took with Labor of Love, Pam Roe, and Teresa Howard, and for the support I've gotten from the friends I've met through the doula community (Renee and Lindsay for starters). I wouldn't be the Mom I am today if it weren't for them, and I rather like the Mom I've become. :-)
* Water Birth. I knew from the beginning that I wanted to experience natural, unmedicated childbirth. The thought started with the idea that if my mom and my mother-in-law could do it, then so could I. It evolved into doing more research about the effects of inducement and epidural drugs on my own body and my baby, and that research solidified my resolve. Water birth was introduced as an option for pain management in our childbirth classes with Labor of Love Doula and Childbirth Services and through my midwives at Intown Midwifery. Never having really been a water person, I kept it on the table as an option, at least for labor, but I honestly didn't see myself delivering in the water. I'm just not a bath person and I don't particularly enjoy swimming. Kristian was weirded out about the idea all the way until delivery, I think. But once we got to the hospital, I knew the second my midwife asked if I wanted to get in the tub that the answer was yes. Once I got in that glorious warm water, there was no getting out, especially since I was already pushing. The water helped immensely, if nothing else the weightlessness was amazing, and given the option, I will never birth a child again any other way.
* Touching Baby's Head in the Birth Canal. I heard about doing this in our childbirth classes but the thought kindof grossed me out. I honestly didn't think I'd want to do this. Until I'd been pushing for an hour or two and started getting frustrated that Anne hadn't crowned yet. That was when my midwife told me "she's coming, she's in the birth canal already, you can reach down and feel her." I knew that I wanted that proof that she really was close, and when I felt her squishy little head at my fingertips it gave me renewed energy to keep going. It was amazing, knowing she was *right. there.* and would be in my arms relatively soon.
* Vernix / Bathing Baby Immediately. I always thought I would want the nurses to bathe Anne before they handed her over to me to hold and breastfeed for the first time. In video, vernix looks pretty goopy and disgusting, and I didn't relish the thought of holding my daughter with goop and blood all over her. We were encouraged to hold off on bathing our babies in my childbirth class because the vernix (the white stuff) is really good for their skin, it's like natural lotion. It probably helped that Anne slipped into this world into water to begin with, but the vernix wasn't gross at all. It's more like paste than goop. Anne had her first bath a week after we got home from the hospital.
* Stop Breastfeeding When Baby Gets Teeth. I distinctly remember telling Teresa Howard, the teacher for our breastfeeding class, that I was stopping breastfeeding when that baby got teeth because she could eat real food then. Wow, how ignorant I was!! She quickly informed me that some babies get teeth as early as 3 months and they are nowhere near ready to wean at that age. She also told me that you have to feed either breastmilk or formula until the baby is a year old. Since I knew I didn't want to feed Anne formula, that put my goal for breastfeeding at 1 year. At this point I was still pretty adamant about weaning her at 1 year though.
* Stopping Breastfeeding at One Year. Again, I couldn't imagine myself breastfeeding a baby over a year old. Until more instruction and research informed me that weaning a baby cold turkey is not the best idea in the world, it should be a gradual, at least mostly baby-led, process. Then I went to see our pediatrician, who is very supportive of breastfeeding, and she recommends that we breastfeed Anne until she's at least 2 years old. My goal shifted again. I still don't see myself breastfeeding her past 2, but if there's one thing I've learned it's that this parenting gig is a day-to-day thing, and making too many decisions before we cross those bridges is pointless.
* Extended Breastfeeding (2 years and beyond). I've had a hard time getting my head wrapped around the idea of breastfeeding a toddler, but my views on this have changed as well. I used to be pretty adamantly against it, but the more moms I meet that are nursing their toddlers in the last stages of weaning, the more I realize it's just a natural process and no two children are the same. Some kids may wean at 14 months, others at 30 or beyond.
* Breastfeeding : The Bond. Before I breastfed my own daughter, I thought the bond people talk about was a load of crap or for hippies. Breastfeeding was just for that, feeding, right? I couldn't have been more wrong. I cannot even begin to explain the deep connection I feel to my daughter that has come about through that process. It's amazing.
* Co-Sleeping / Bedsharing. I actually found a journal entry from when I was pregnant where I adamantly said I would never bedshare with Anne because I thought it was dangerous. A few things changed my mind on this. For starters, Teresa mentioned in our breastfeeding class that night nursing is a million times easier, and provides much more sleep for the mom, if you co-sleep or bedshare because you just latch the baby on and go back to sleep (side-laying nursing). Surprisingly, Kristian supported this idea, so my thoughts on bedsharing started to turn around, but we were still pretty adamant about Anne having her own bedspace; we had an in-bed co-sleeping snuggler that had sides to supposedly protect the baby from being rolled onto. Anne slept in it at the hospital in my bed, and then one night at home. Then she had to wear a bilirubin blanket to treat her jaundice, and the giant cord attached to it wouldn't allow us to put her in the snuggler, so she slept right next to me. After a week of sleeping contentedly next to her mommy, Anne started crying the second we tried to put her back in the snuggler, so that was the end of that. I've also read articles on safe bedsharing and the rules concerning it, and I don't feel like it's dangerous at all, at least not for us (if you can't make the space safe, then you shouldn't bedshare). She's over 7 months old and still sleeps right next to me every night. She nurses at least twice in the mornings before I get up for work, so I get more sleep this way and it helps keep my milk supply up. Plus I'm not waking up all night to go check on her because she's right there.
* Crying It Out. While I never had any really hard and fast ideas about this concept, I did have friends that encouraged me to do this so I never really thought it was a "bad idea." Until my daughter cried, and I knew I could never just leave her to cry herself to sleep, it made my heart hurt too much. Kristian also can't bear to hear her cry. The one time I did let her cry it out, while out walking with her in a stroller, I fortunately had friends and educators encourage me not to do this, and reassure me that tending to my daughter's emotional needs was not a bad thing. Hearing about and reading about medical studies showing that uncomforted crying causes some brain damage from the heightened levels of cortisol (no, all crying is not the same...the brain reacts differently to crying while being held v. being ignored), helped solidify my choice to refuse to let Anne cry it out. I could write a book on my opinions regarding this topic, but just suffice it to say that even if there weren't people telling me it was a bad idea, my maternal instincts and heart would never let my daughter be miserable and go uncomforted like that.
* Baby Sleep While I Did Housework. HAHAHAHAHA Yeah right. I had this preconception of nursing Anne, putting her down for a nap in a crib for a few hours, and getting housework done while she was asleep. Imagine my frustration when my very senstive daughter would wake up almost immediately every time I tried to lay her down, so that the only way she slept for any decent amount of time was in my arms while I held her. See my stance above regarding crying it out, and you can see why I felt trapped to my couch for the first 2 months of Anne's life. Then enter the Moby sling, my lifesaver, that gave me my life back. I could nurse Anne in it and walk around at the same time, and she would happily fall asleep in it snuggled up on my chest. But this was just another preconception I had that got blown out of the water by reality.
* Crying When Baby Gets Vaccinated. Before Anne was born, I thought it was silly when moms cried when their babies got vaccinated. Then we had to take Anne to get her blood drawn for bilirubin tests while we were monitoring her jaundice. Drawing blood from a newborn involves sticking their heel, and then squeezing their foot over and over again until they get enough drops of blood to fill a small vial. It takes forever, and with each squeeze my 2 day old daughter cried harder. I burst into tears and had to go into the hallway while I cried and laughed at myself. You cannot comprehend the anguish you feel at hearing your own child in pain until you experience it.
* Circumcision. When I was still pregnant, I remember a friend of mine who was also pregnant calling me and asking me if we had a boy whether or not we would circumcise. At the time I just sortof shrugged and said, Yes, I guess so, since it seemed like the normal thing to do. While I realize we don't have a boy, I have a friend who does and who is very adamantly opposed to circumcision, so she posts articles about it frequently. After reading a few of them, I have since changed my mind and no longer support it either. I wouldn't strap a 15 year old (or 25 year old for that matter) son of mine to a table and cut off part of his penis without his consent, so why would I do that to my infant son? No thanks. I'm so grateful that my friend opened my eyes because if we had a boy, and I had him circumcised before knowing what I know now, I would feel terrible about it.
* Cloth Diapering. I had a discussion about this with my good friend, Brian, who had cloth diapered with one of his kids (at least...maybe more). He told me horror stories about rinsing nasty diapers in the toilet and leaving them in a bucket until laundry time, so I threw that idea out the window. Then I had some friends show me the awesomeness that is cloth diapering now that they make cloth diapers with inserts and snaps, and expanding elastic, and I can honestly say that I feel good about not filling landfills with disposable diapers and the money I save every month. They're expensive to start with, but they pay for themselves in about 4 to 5 months, and the kind I have will last until Anne potty trains. They're a lot of work, but I think they're worth it. (and no, the poo does NOT stick to my washing machine, why do people think that?! lol)
* Solid Foods. I always assumed we'd do the traditional purees at 4 months. Then when Anne was about 3.5 months old, I came across something called Baby Led Weaning. You keep them only on breastmilk (or formula, though the concept seems to work better with breastfed babies) until they're 6 months old and then you just start giving them tablefood. We love it because Anne loves it; she really seems to enjoy eating with us and exploring the food and she gets more adept at chewing, swallowing, and picking up food every day. She also eats things like green vegetables that most kids don't like.
Sometimes, ignorance really isn't bliss and education is everything. I am so grateful for the classes I took with Labor of Love, Pam Roe, and Teresa Howard, and for the support I've gotten from the friends I've met through the doula community (Renee and Lindsay for starters). I wouldn't be the Mom I am today if it weren't for them, and I rather like the Mom I've become. :-)
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
My Inner Cowgirl
You know how some people like to claim they have an "inner goth kid", i.e. there's a part of them that loves the goth style but they don't live it on a daily basis? I understand it; it's an attraction to the dark and mysterious.
Well, I have one of those too, but I think my inner cowgirl could lasso my goth girl's butt to the ground. Yep, I'm admitting it. There's just a bit of a country girl in my heart.
There's nothing that can get my blood racing faster than a man in a Stetson and a nice pair of boots (except my husband...now if I could just convince him to WEAR the Stetson and the boots...), and there's nothing that makes me tap my foot and sing at the top of my lungs like a good country beat (nestled nicely in a rock song, preferably). I like good barbecue and I could spend hours listening to someone play acoustic guitar. I haven't ridden a horse since I was a kid, but I think it's something I could definitely enjoy if I had the opportunity.
This revelation brought to you by listening to Country Song by Seether this morning on the radio and realizing the music behind the lyrics was pulling at my soul.
Well, I have one of those too, but I think my inner cowgirl could lasso my goth girl's butt to the ground. Yep, I'm admitting it. There's just a bit of a country girl in my heart.
There's nothing that can get my blood racing faster than a man in a Stetson and a nice pair of boots (except my husband...now if I could just convince him to WEAR the Stetson and the boots...), and there's nothing that makes me tap my foot and sing at the top of my lungs like a good country beat (nestled nicely in a rock song, preferably). I like good barbecue and I could spend hours listening to someone play acoustic guitar. I haven't ridden a horse since I was a kid, but I think it's something I could definitely enjoy if I had the opportunity.
This revelation brought to you by listening to Country Song by Seether this morning on the radio and realizing the music behind the lyrics was pulling at my soul.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
National Day of Prayer
Today is the National Day of Prayer for 2011. So, I give you prayer, Nicole-style. This might get kindof personal. If you're named, feel happy I pray for you, probably often. If you're not named it doesn't mean I haven't ever or that I won't ever, but for the sake of this particular prayer I can't name every single one of my friends.
Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be your name,
Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done,
On Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
Lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil,
For thine is the Kingdom, the Glory, and the Power,
For ever and ever.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
God, thank you for this beautiful life you have given me, for my healthy body, for my wonderful husband, for Anne, for great parents, for my sisters, for friends, and for good employers.
Please watch over my Mom and Ray in their new marriage, please help Kristian's parents' hearts continue to heal after the loss of Andrew, please help my sister Kayla to make good decisions, please keep Kat safe from her seizures and help her relationship with Brian to grow, please watch over Andrea and Darren and their family, please watch over Steve and Emily and their family as they begin their marriage in a couple of months, please bless Vern and Amanda, please bless Brian and Jen, please keep Lucy safe, please help my friends who are pregnant to have good, safe births, please bless Dan and Whitney, please watch over Caitlin and keep her safe,
Please help me to be the best wife and mother I can be, please grant me peace with the lost relationships I still struggle with, please help me to not feel so overwhelmed with this new mom thing, please help me to be a better sister and friend,
Please watch over those who are struggling with cancer or other illnesses, please help the families who have been struck by natural disasters to rebuild,
Please guide me in the way that you want me to live my life, and help me to open others' hearts to you, Lord.
I love you.
Amen.
Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be your name,
Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done,
On Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
Lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil,
For thine is the Kingdom, the Glory, and the Power,
For ever and ever.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
God, thank you for this beautiful life you have given me, for my healthy body, for my wonderful husband, for Anne, for great parents, for my sisters, for friends, and for good employers.
Please watch over my Mom and Ray in their new marriage, please help Kristian's parents' hearts continue to heal after the loss of Andrew, please help my sister Kayla to make good decisions, please keep Kat safe from her seizures and help her relationship with Brian to grow, please watch over Andrea and Darren and their family, please watch over Steve and Emily and their family as they begin their marriage in a couple of months, please bless Vern and Amanda, please bless Brian and Jen, please keep Lucy safe, please help my friends who are pregnant to have good, safe births, please bless Dan and Whitney, please watch over Caitlin and keep her safe,
Please help me to be the best wife and mother I can be, please grant me peace with the lost relationships I still struggle with, please help me to not feel so overwhelmed with this new mom thing, please help me to be a better sister and friend,
Please watch over those who are struggling with cancer or other illnesses, please help the families who have been struck by natural disasters to rebuild,
Please guide me in the way that you want me to live my life, and help me to open others' hearts to you, Lord.
I love you.
Amen.
Long Road Ahead
I got out of the shower last night to hear a bunch of screaming and wailing across the street at our neighbor's house, in our usually very quiet neighborhood. Concerned for anyone's safety, Kristian and I went downstairs and looked out the front window just to make sure no one was getting beaten. What we saw was a bunch of teenage angst as the high school girl across the street was screaming and crying at the top of her lungs, complete with throwing herself down on the driveway and moving to sit in the middle of the street at one point. This went on for close to 20 to 30 minutes before her mother (I'm assuming) finally got her to go back inside their house.
Now, I remember being that age. I remember how it felt if you got broken up with or found out your boyfriend was cheating on you or any of the other number of things that girl could have possibly been upset about. So I get the emotion involved and the need to vent it out...what I don't get is her parents' letting her disturb the entire neighborhood while she did it.
Which leads me to the comment I made to Kristian... "I'm not cool with spanking Anne, but I swear if our daughter ever does that and refuses to come inside, I will slap the s$%^ out of her....that's just inconsiderate to everyone else in the neighborhood."
Wait, what? Did I just say that? Latent violent tendencies much? I don't want to spank her as a toddler, but I'm willing to slap her as a teenager? Sigh. I have a long road ahead of me to rework what I think is acceptable discipline. That was my knee-jerk reaction to the situation. But after thinking about it awhile, I don't ever want to slap Anne. Again with the hitting someone is not a way to solve problems. I don't think I'd be above bodily dragging her back inside though and telling her to go scream it out in her bedroom. And possibly making her drop off notes to the neighbors apologizing for her public outburst. But this just made me realize it may take some serious effort to maintain the kind of parenting I want to do, because it's not just a matter of putting principles into practice...it's going to be a matter of overcoming my own impulses. Guess I still have some growing up to do of my own.
Now, I remember being that age. I remember how it felt if you got broken up with or found out your boyfriend was cheating on you or any of the other number of things that girl could have possibly been upset about. So I get the emotion involved and the need to vent it out...what I don't get is her parents' letting her disturb the entire neighborhood while she did it.
Which leads me to the comment I made to Kristian... "I'm not cool with spanking Anne, but I swear if our daughter ever does that and refuses to come inside, I will slap the s$%^ out of her....that's just inconsiderate to everyone else in the neighborhood."
Wait, what? Did I just say that? Latent violent tendencies much? I don't want to spank her as a toddler, but I'm willing to slap her as a teenager? Sigh. I have a long road ahead of me to rework what I think is acceptable discipline. That was my knee-jerk reaction to the situation. But after thinking about it awhile, I don't ever want to slap Anne. Again with the hitting someone is not a way to solve problems. I don't think I'd be above bodily dragging her back inside though and telling her to go scream it out in her bedroom. And possibly making her drop off notes to the neighbors apologizing for her public outburst. But this just made me realize it may take some serious effort to maintain the kind of parenting I want to do, because it's not just a matter of putting principles into practice...it's going to be a matter of overcoming my own impulses. Guess I still have some growing up to do of my own.
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