Mondays are so hard for me. After having two beautiful days to spend with you, I have to go back to work and take you back to "school" (daycare) for the day, and I usually spend most of Mondays feeling weepy. I miss you so much. I miss your smiles, your laughter, your little baby hugs, the way you cling to me when you nurse, you're cute babbling. I miss watching you discover new things, especially now that you're crawling. I'm so sorry I have to be away from you during the week; please know I'm doing the best I can to help provide for our family.
Every morning during the week I get up and leave you in bed with Daddy while I get your bottles ready for the day, and then I go upstairs to wake him up and get you. Lately I often find you snuggled up to him since I'm not there with you for those few minutes. I pull your sleepy self out of the bed and tuck your head on my shoulder, carry to your room where I change you, and then take you downstairs so I can nurse you while I eat breakfast. When I first sit on the couch I always hold you on my lap for a few minutes first, just enjoying the way you feel in my arms. I watch you sleep, your face turned toward mine with your head on my chest, and I kiss your cheeks, your forehead, your little nose. I think about how it wasn't that long ago that you were so much smaller, and how it won't be long before you're too big to hold this way at all. I desperately try to hang on to these moments so I will remember them because I know they are all too fleeting.
Infancy is rapidly coming to a close; you'll be a toddler in about two and a half months. I'm not ready. I love this part of your life, while you're still needy and sweet and tiny. I'm sure I will love the later parts too, but babyhood is far too short.
I love you so much, and I can't wait to see you tonight.
Always and forevers,
Mom
Oh that made me cry to read! Anne is one very lucky lady to have a mommy that loves this much! Just yesterday, Alex was having a rough time with his second nap, so I laid down with him. I was just kissing his face and running my finger across his head and cheeks and such...singing Amazing grace to him. I love how he just calm right down in my arms and closes his eyes to enjoy our cuddling. In just 9 days he will be one...he is already so independent! It's great to watch them grow, but I am definitely going to miss all the sweet infant moments. Love your posts Nicole!
ReplyDeleteAww, thanks Rachel :-D
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