Today I am overly tired, I don't feel well, I have a clogged duct (read: lots of pain), and I'm overly emotional. Anne's vaccinations stole my weekend with my daughter because they made her sick and cranky all weekend. I think she even knew it; Kristian said she woke him up this morning by flailing her arms at him and grinning, not by crying. More like, "I'm awake, Daddy! Time to play??" I just needed one more day.
She needed just one more day, too; she cried when I left this morning and she never does that. I always use the restroom before I leave the daycare and when I came out she was crying and sitting in Meg's lap. I went in and held her for another second and tried to get her to smile before I left but it nearly killed me to walk out the door again. I called around 11 and Meg said she'd been fussy all morning. All I want to do is leave work and go get her. Trying to get off early, but who knows.
Do you ever pass car accidents and wonder if you had left 5 minutes earlier if it would have been you? There was a motorcycle accident a mile from the daycare center this morning that had just happened shortly before I got there. Police were on the scene but they didn't even have the guy in the ambulance yet. I couldn't help but wonder if someone was watching over me, and Anne cried and made me later so that I would miss the accident. Maybe if I had left on time I would have hit the car that hit the motorcycle....
Just a mess today. I've almost started crying about six different times. So ready to go home and snuggle with my baby girl and get kisses from my husband.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
I Have A Dream
Breastfeeding has become a passion of mine. It's the number 1 *best* nutrition you can give your child, and it has rockstar health benefits for mom too. While I realize that there are many women in the U.S. who can't breastfeed for medical reasons, there are also a whole LOT of women who don't breastfeed, or don't breastfeed for very long, because of lack of education (it's not as intuitive as you'd think, and there are tons of misconceptions) and most importantly, support. I was talking with a friend recently about the subject, and she told me her story:
"You know what bothers me the most is that it wasn't like I chose to be less informed you know? I was 18 and yes that was my fault and I was also broke as a joke, also my fault. However WIC and Medicaid should have better resources for educating women on breast feeding. They handed me my WIC vouchers and were like, "Here's your stuff for formula." They ask if you plan to breast feed because then you get more food for longer as opposed to getting formula. But pumps are not cheap especially for people who are on WIC and/or Medicaid. I didn't even know I could rent one from the hospital and even that's not cheap. You would think Medicaid would cover that or that WIC could help but they don't...... I didn't have internet back when I was pregnant so not so much on the research.... The resources are on the internet but if you are broke like I was that isn't an option. It's disappointing that WIC or Medicaid doesn't help women who are like I was."
And I couldn't help but wonder how many other women are in that exact same situation, or one very similar. And suddenly I realized what I want to do with my life. Yes, at nearly 31 years old, I think I've finally figured it out (other than being a Mom).
My friends gave me a lot of support with my questions, and now I love helping friends with breastfeeding questions; if I don't know the answer I'll ask a teacher or look it up. I happily gifted a class to another friend recently. I'm not ashamed to admit I've turned into a lactivist. Breastfed babies means healthier babies and healthier moms. The more parents that choose to breastfeed in the U.S. the healthier we will become as a nation. No, it won't happen overnight. But nothing ever does. Change takes time.
So will following this dream of mine. My ultimate goal is to become a board certified Lactation Consultant (IBLCE). That will require university level courses in several subjects, including human anatomy, nutrition, infant and child growth and development, etc. as well as many other requirements. I frankly don't have the money to go back to school right now, or the time, so this will be a long term goal for me. Even becoming a Lactation Specialist or a Certified Lactation Educator (CLE) requires extensive study and in-field experience, though I may decide to use those levels as stepping stones or they may even become my final goal rather than IBLCE.
In the meantime, I plan to start attending La Leche League meetings and may eventually become a LLL Leader. I'll start where I can. Volunteer? Yes, please. Meetings once a month? Yes, please. I'm not in a hurry to do everything at once. I'll get my feet wet first and see where this takes me. But one thing is for certain; I want to help women have the confidence and the knowledge to successfully breastfeed their babies. Healthier Americans? Yes, please.
"You know what bothers me the most is that it wasn't like I chose to be less informed you know? I was 18 and yes that was my fault and I was also broke as a joke, also my fault. However WIC and Medicaid should have better resources for educating women on breast feeding. They handed me my WIC vouchers and were like, "Here's your stuff for formula." They ask if you plan to breast feed because then you get more food for longer as opposed to getting formula. But pumps are not cheap especially for people who are on WIC and/or Medicaid. I didn't even know I could rent one from the hospital and even that's not cheap. You would think Medicaid would cover that or that WIC could help but they don't...... I didn't have internet back when I was pregnant so not so much on the research.... The resources are on the internet but if you are broke like I was that isn't an option. It's disappointing that WIC or Medicaid doesn't help women who are like I was."
And I couldn't help but wonder how many other women are in that exact same situation, or one very similar. And suddenly I realized what I want to do with my life. Yes, at nearly 31 years old, I think I've finally figured it out (other than being a Mom).
My friends gave me a lot of support with my questions, and now I love helping friends with breastfeeding questions; if I don't know the answer I'll ask a teacher or look it up. I happily gifted a class to another friend recently. I'm not ashamed to admit I've turned into a lactivist. Breastfed babies means healthier babies and healthier moms. The more parents that choose to breastfeed in the U.S. the healthier we will become as a nation. No, it won't happen overnight. But nothing ever does. Change takes time.
So will following this dream of mine. My ultimate goal is to become a board certified Lactation Consultant (IBLCE). That will require university level courses in several subjects, including human anatomy, nutrition, infant and child growth and development, etc. as well as many other requirements. I frankly don't have the money to go back to school right now, or the time, so this will be a long term goal for me. Even becoming a Lactation Specialist or a Certified Lactation Educator (CLE) requires extensive study and in-field experience, though I may decide to use those levels as stepping stones or they may even become my final goal rather than IBLCE.
In the meantime, I plan to start attending La Leche League meetings and may eventually become a LLL Leader. I'll start where I can. Volunteer? Yes, please. Meetings once a month? Yes, please. I'm not in a hurry to do everything at once. I'll get my feet wet first and see where this takes me. But one thing is for certain; I want to help women have the confidence and the knowledge to successfully breastfeed their babies. Healthier Americans? Yes, please.
Bittersweet
On the other hand, it's the beginning of the end of our nursing relationship. I really enjoy breastfeeding my daughter. I love the way her tiny hand searches for my face when she's nursing, or tugs at my shirt. I love when she pauses, looks up into my eyes and smiles, and all I feel is love coming from her beautiful blue eyes. I love holding her close to me in bed at night, and how she loves to fall asleep on my lap after nursing.
And then there's the fact that up until now, every ounce (no pun intended) of nutrition that has ever entered her body came from me. She has never eaten anything from a can, box, bag, the ground, another animal, etc. 6 months of her life and her growth is attributed all to the life-giving milk I have provided her. It's an amazing and wondrous feeling. Breastfeeding really does feel like having a super power. Or a direct connection to God. Or both.
So, I'm excited to be on to something new, but I'm also a little sad to have hit this turning point. Time just goes by too fast.
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