If you know me, you know I'm a natural birth advocate. No, I'm not a sadist that thinks women should endure massive amounts of pain to have a baby; I believe that women are stronger than we've been told (epidurals have only been around for just over a 100 years...compared to the thousands of years women have managed birth the natural way, that's a drop in the bucket...and I'm pretty sure pain alone doesn't kill people so don't try to throw the mortality rate at me), and it's been proven that it's safer and healthier for mom and baby to have as little intervention in the birth process as possible. (I'm not going to get into a debate about whether or not home birth v. hospital birth is safer. They both have their benefits, and we certainly took advantage of having medical equipment nearby in case of a catastrophe. But interventions like epidurals and induction can cause all sorts of problems). We as women were biologically designed to give birth. Our bodies know what to do. And it's our community of other mothers who are supposed to help us prepare mentally in order to cope with the pain, because really, it's all mind games and believing in yourself and trusting the process that helps you deal with the pain of contractions. Take the fear out and the pain becomes manageable. Because really, natural birth is amazing, and empowering, and the most beautiful experience in the world, and most of the women I know who gave birth naturally, and who had really prepared to do it, say the exact same thing, and can't wait to do it again. Wait, what's that I'm saying, we can't wait to give birth naturally again, to go through that pain and endurance test all over again?? Yep. Because it really is that awesome. I would rather give birth again any day than be pregnant, honestly. Pregnancy was not kind to my body. But birth...birth was an experience all of its own.
Anyway, sorry for the tangent there, just trying to give a bit of background. Since having Anne, I've seen a couple of tv shows now that portray birth, and it irks me to no end. First, for some reason they almost always only show a woman pushing, they never show her coping with the contractions. Secondly, they're always on their backs in a bed, which is possibly the number one worst position to give birth in, though I will give some credit and say at least they're usually semi-sitting. Gravity is your best friend!! I stood up or kneeled for the majority of my labor, and the only time I really felt like the contractions might send me over the edge was when I had to lay down to have my cervix checked. Those few contractions I had to go through on that bed were the worst. Stand up, ladies!! It helps. That baby is trying to move down, not sideways.
There's an episode of Scrubs where Carla has just given birth and she needs to breastfeed her baby. First, I will say I was pleased that she was breastfeeding. But then she had to go and make the comment "Oh, my nipples/breasts are so sore, I wish I could use formula." Really?? What kind of message is that supposed to send? Why couldn't she have said "Oh my breasts are so sore, I need to correct my latch but I'm so glad I can give my baby the best nutrition possible" ? Or something else positive. Breastfeeding is already viewed with enough negativity and lack of education in this country without a tv show reinforcing it. And don't even get me started on Jordan who, if I remember correctly, scheduled an induction and epidural. Scheduling an induction, unless you're having issues like preeclampsia or other actual medical complications, is like taking a cake out of the oven 20 minutes before it's supposed to be done. Babies come when they're supposed to! Trust your body!
Last night we watched the episode of Bones where Angela gives birth. I was proud that they had her go through a natural birth, possibly the only one I've seen on tv, but again irritated that she was laying on her back in a bed. Angela is very forward-thinking, there is no way she would have been laying on her back because she would have done enough research to know that gravity helps. Why couldn't they have shown her walking around to cope with her contractions? Or Hodgins giving her counter-pressure on her back? Or having a doula at her side helping her, which, considering the character, would have been completely reasonable? Also, I was annoyed that the doctor attending her decided when it was time for Angela to push. Which, if you've given birth, you know is total bs. A doctor doesn't decide that. Your body does; it's involuntary. I will say I was happy with her response to Bones after it was over, though, when she told her how amazing it was. I think if they had made Angela tell Bones it was awful and she'd ask for an epidural the next time I would have thrown something at the tv. So kudos to the writers for that at least, but I wish they could have done a bit more research about what natural birth might look like for Angela.
When will they show a different kind of birth on tv? A birth where the woman is in control, not a doctor, trusting her body and the process, dealing with the pain in a positive way, and possibly trying other positions than just laying on her back? When are they going to make birth on tv look the way birth can appear in real life? TV doesn't hesitate to show you every graphic detail of someone being murdered, but they can't show better details of a woman bringing new life into the world?? Get with the program, entertainment industry! Now the show that dares to show a water birth, I might consider that show a miracle...
I think the reason they show women on their backs is because most people are used to seeing women give birth who have had an epidural. You can't kneel or stand after having one. Now why they had her lying on her back when she was doing natural just proves they didn't research it.
ReplyDelete"Take the fear out and the pain becomes manageable." I disagree with this statement though. With Bailey fear played a huge part because I couldn't afford Lamaze classes and medicaid didn't provide anything like that. The same thing with Liam except I had been through all if it before so minus the fear. The pain was intolerable with Liam, I was in so much pain I couldn't focus. I did try to do it with no epidural with him. I couldn't concentrate because I was in so much pain so I finally asked for an epidural. Now that being said I didn't learn pain management techniques like you did or take classes on natural childbirth, again I couldn't afford it.
So I guess my point is for those who don't have the funds or insurance to cover "extra" classes (an I don't agree that those should cost extra, insurance should cover it or the hospital should have them for free or on a pay scale) don't have the resources to learn pain management. I also do personally believe pain during childbirth did play a part in the mortality rate in women. When you can't see past the pain it makes you stressed and the baby stressed. I commend you for being strong enough to do it. I always have, just disagree with some of the things you said.
Lastly, I agree that I hate births on t.v. the women grunt for a few second and then out comes a perfect little three month old baby. Even with the epidural I did more than grunt and it lasted a lot longer than a few seconds. Lol.
It's so funny because Bryan and I watched "The Business of being Born" today on Netflix. I had seen parts of it in Bradley class, but that was the first time I watched the whole thing. At one point, they listed all the interventions, in the same order that I had and that this usually ended in a C-section where everyone says, "Oh thank God you had all that medical support!" when it was that exact medical support that led to the c-section to begin with. Grant it the fact that I was stroke level with my BP and had pre-eclampsia that led to the induction to begin with, but it was extremely validating that I am not broken and I am not crazy for feeling like something was taken away from me. THEN I read this :-) and it made me smile. I FIRMLY believe that my lack of ability to move was what prevented me from ever really going into active labor (I was having contractions and strong, regular ones with the pitocin, but it would stop if the pitocin stopped). Women need to move and they need to be active participants in the process.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that I had the opportunity to labor without pain meds for as long as I did and I am almost grateful that I didn't have the "designer" c-sections that other women talk about. I had a horrific experience and it furthers my belief that Drs need to leave women the hell alone and let them do what they were DESIGNED BY GOD to do. Yes I needed the c-section (my BP is still high, 11 months later :-/), but hell if I'll do it again.
Well said, as usual Nicole :-) Sorry for the long post, most of this will likely be repeated in my own blog at some point when I talk about my "road to a VBAC." 11 lbs down....89 more to go :-)
Oh and Heather...those "extra" classes are actually a tax write off :-) Though I believe it should be covered by insurance too, at least you can get it back at the end of the year. That's something I didn't know until I signed up for Bradley classes though.
And USA has one of the highest mortality rates in all the world for women. Our "modern medicine" is doing nothing to help with that. It's actually making things worse. Our society says, "Look we can make birth easy...pain free" and of course people are going to gravitate towards the easier, softer way...but it isn't the healthiest for baby or momma. Interventions, led to more interventions, led to more interventions and the higher likelihood for a c-section.
Pain management techniques are helpful...but moving around during labor and having a supportive person (husband, doula, or both) are what really help during the process. And listening to your body. The classes definitely increase the success of having a natural birth, but it can be done without them.
Oh and in the video one of the Drs actually said, "We see women on their backs delivering babies so often because that's what's easiest for the Doctor." SERIOUSLY?! Because the Dr is the one pushing out the baby...the Dr is the one that has spent hours in that room rubbing the mother's back and supporting her. No he just walked in to catch the baby, but let's make sure HE is nice and comfortable. Sheesh.
ReplyDeleteThat's good to know that they are a tax write off, still couldn't have afforded them either time but will keep that in mind. :)
ReplyDeleteYeah when my teacher told me that I was like AWESOME! You can also take shorter/less expensive versions of bradley class, or get the book "husband coached childbirth." Both are much less expensive than the full class (or classes like it).
ReplyDeleteHeather!! I wish I had known you were going to try to forego the epidural, I could have given you the book our class was based on. It has TONS of pain management techniques in it, or if nothing else I would have been willing to talk to you about the multitude of things we learned! We literally made a list of over 40 things to help you get through a contraction. If/when you have another baby, if you're interested in trying for a natural birth again but don't have the money for a class (they can be expensive, I hear ya on that one!) I will be more than happy to give you the book and/or talk to you about what they taught us, just let me know. And I should have said that removing the fear usually helps make the pain *more* manageable. A woman who is afraid will more than likely experience more pain than a woman who is not, because the fear makes your body more tense. But, no two births are the same, either, so...
ReplyDeleteI also didn't know they were a tax write-off! Wish I had claimed the classes on my return.
Rachel, keep it up!! You'll get there :-)
I'm certainly concidering it. I think it will be easier the next time around. Giving birth knowing you are placing for adoption kind of makes you want to take as much pain away as possible since you know there will be emotional pain. I had a wonderful team though, my step-mom and both his parents. However were I to try to go med-free I'd need two things A. Rodney (who obviously I didn't have with Liam's birth) and B. A water birth. Lol. I considered it with Liam and told myself I'd try it without an epidural with him but the overall trepidation of the entire process of going through birthing and placing I think was too much with the pain of the pitocin. Maybe next time and if I do you can count on plenty of phone calls and even visits, you being my resident expert and dear friend and all. :D
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