I got out of the shower last night to hear a bunch of screaming and wailing across the street at our neighbor's house, in our usually very quiet neighborhood. Concerned for anyone's safety, Kristian and I went downstairs and looked out the front window just to make sure no one was getting beaten. What we saw was a bunch of teenage angst as the high school girl across the street was screaming and crying at the top of her lungs, complete with throwing herself down on the driveway and moving to sit in the middle of the street at one point. This went on for close to 20 to 30 minutes before her mother (I'm assuming) finally got her to go back inside their house.
Now, I remember being that age. I remember how it felt if you got broken up with or found out your boyfriend was cheating on you or any of the other number of things that girl could have possibly been upset about. So I get the emotion involved and the need to vent it out...what I don't get is her parents' letting her disturb the entire neighborhood while she did it.
Which leads me to the comment I made to Kristian... "I'm not cool with spanking Anne, but I swear if our daughter ever does that and refuses to come inside, I will slap the s$%^ out of her....that's just inconsiderate to everyone else in the neighborhood."
Wait, what? Did I just say that? Latent violent tendencies much? I don't want to spank her as a toddler, but I'm willing to slap her as a teenager? Sigh. I have a long road ahead of me to rework what I think is acceptable discipline. That was my knee-jerk reaction to the situation. But after thinking about it awhile, I don't ever want to slap Anne. Again with the hitting someone is not a way to solve problems. I don't think I'd be above bodily dragging her back inside though and telling her to go scream it out in her bedroom. And possibly making her drop off notes to the neighbors apologizing for her public outburst. But this just made me realize it may take some serious effort to maintain the kind of parenting I want to do, because it's not just a matter of putting principles into practice...it's going to be a matter of overcoming my own impulses. Guess I still have some growing up to do of my own.
Lesson I learned from babysitting:
ReplyDeleteIf you're lucky, Anne will stay tiny enough for you to calmly pick her up, sling her over your shoulder, and carry her to an appropriate place to brood/angst/yell it out well into her teens. It works just as well as a response to tantrums for toddlers as it does for pre-teens. In fact, the older they get, the more willing they are to be reasonable, because no one wants a grown-up to pick you up and carry you to your room.