Dear Anne: (August 1, 2011)

Mondays are so hard for me.  After having two beautiful days to spend with you, I have to go back to work and take you back to "school" (daycare) for the day, and I usually spend most of Mondays feeling weepy.  I miss you so much.  I miss your smiles, your laughter, your little baby hugs, the way you cling to me when you nurse, you're cute babbling.  I miss watching you discover new things, especially now that you're crawling.  I'm so sorry I have to be away from you during the week; please know I'm doing the best I can to help provide for our family.

Every morning during the week I get up and leave you in bed with Daddy while I get your bottles ready for the day, and then I go upstairs to wake him up and get you.  Lately I often find you snuggled up to him since I'm not there with you for those few minutes.  I pull your sleepy self out of the bed and tuck your head on my shoulder, carry to your room where I change you, and then take you downstairs so I can nurse you while I eat breakfast.  When I first sit on the couch I always hold you on my lap for a few minutes first, just enjoying the way you feel in my arms.  I watch you sleep, your face turned toward mine with your head on my chest, and I kiss your cheeks, your forehead, your little nose.  I think about how it wasn't that long ago that you were so much smaller, and how it won't be long before you're too big to hold this way at all.  I desperately try to hang on to these moments so I will remember them because I know they are all too fleeting.

Infancy is rapidly coming to a close; you'll be a toddler in about two and a half months.  I'm not ready.  I love this part of your life, while you're still needy and sweet and tiny.  I'm sure I will love the later parts too, but babyhood is far too short.

I love you so much, and I can't wait to see you tonight.

Always and forevers,

Mom